These shapes have been manifesting in my mind since I was a teenager and I have been drawing them ever since. When I first started drawing them they were more connected to a feeling than a concise thought. This feeling is best described as a melancholic sadness or depression. When I drew them in the beginning they were a representation of this feeling. Over the years they have come to signify more.
The Individual Images:
Every individual picture conveys a feeling, emotion, event, or story. Some of these are even an abstraction of specific events in my life. An example of a picture that represents a feeling is the image titled “Inside the Red Square”. Though this image is also part of a larger sequenced story, as a standalone piece, it only conveys an emotion to most people. It is often interpreted as hell, suffering, chaos, torture, or death.
An example of an image depicting a specific event is “On the Playground 1”. This image, with or without the title, is open to multiple interpretations and can transmit different meanings, however, it also has a very specific meaning. It is a painting of the moment just before I was beaten down by a mob at recess in the fourth grade.
The bodies of work I pull from:
This group of images is composed of paintings taken from three series I am working on; one series I refer to as “The Story”, one that I call the “Darkness Series”, and another I call “Community”.
“The Story” is a series of interconnected, abstract paintings that can be viewed sequentially. As the images are viewed there is a progression and story that unfolds (without words).
The “Darkness Series” is a series of images that illustrates an interplay between the dying synapses and darkness. Many of these images show an attraction to darkness.
“Community” is a series of images similar to those from “The Story” that don’t incorporate into the storyline as of yet (but may in the future since the story can divert and is constantly growing/changing).
All of these series have a larger contextual meaning when viewed in their entirety but images taken out of the series and viewed as standalone pieces still retain their individual meaning be it an emotion, feeling, event or story.
My Process:
Process is an important part of these images which are digitally drawn and painted in the computer. This is my attempt to produce intuitive, inward, feeling-based art using the computer. My process often includes random brushstrokes and unplanned uncontrolled masking of image parts. I occasionally start with a photograph that I paint, mask, and blur erratically. One image will often spur the next image or even a series. It is an attempt to reconcile the logical left-brain computer with right-brain creative thinking. However, that is not to say none of the work is planned. While some images start with a feeling and are slowly cultivated into an idea through an intuitive process, others are planned and contrived from beginning to end.
These images are digital paintings, however, at the same time they can also be thought of as graphic design. This work, aside from being intuitive, is my attempt to use the tools and trades of graphic design to do something that is more creative. I consider graphic design to be oppressive, constringent, and destructive to creativity. The meaning of the term “graphic design” should not be confused with digital photography and photo manipulation which is a process I consider totally different and more allowing of creativity than what is typically referred to as “graphic design” in industry. Most of these images contain vector shapes drawn in Adobe Illustrator which aligns them more with graphic design than what is typically called digital photography (despite the fact that I occasionally start with a photo).
Inspirations that might show in this work:
Jungian or Archetypal psychology; my process is influenced by Jungian Archetypal psychology and is often an attempt to reconcile the analytical mind with the creative mind.
Japanese aesthetics inspire me, especially Japanese painting and the Japanese use of “negative” or empty space.
Molecular Biology: Though I’m no scientist I am inspired by discoveries in modern science. While working on these images I was influenced by ideas in molecular biology, in particular programmed cell death.
Andy Goldsworthy is an artist that inspired me while I was working on these images.